in Siberia.

Introspection is supposed to be a good thing. But it tends to make people unhappy. We tend to then live life as a second nature; as long as everything goes reasonably well we'll settle.

However this constant struggle for contentment brings about a great deal of irritation because I am stuck with having to strive to be grateful at all times. I do.

Chaste is apparent on the outside but my mind is constantly "full". It may be that my mind is less willing to let go of life's afllictions, or it may be that they are being revealed to me at a regular pace. In any case, I am sodden with dirty thoughts. My mind's ability, no, insistence on retaining misery eludes me. Hence it would be easier to succumb and be miserable all the time. Only, by my own strange nature I decide that it'd be too easy. So I hustle for contentment.

Outrospection is a better thing as everyon wants to be the sort of person who sees beauty in everything. I could never be that person. That's probably why I can't see beauty even when it hurls me across the kitchen counter and throw expensive steak knives at me.

girls are mean, boys are stupid.

it is possible that since i never knew whether to spell gray or grey, it's never been the color for me. see i even get confused with color and colour having read in both the commonwealth syllabus as well as the american.

i prefer anything to be in black and or white. minus the fine print subtract the disclaimers. who says i love you only to add 'as long as it applies'. no one. but everyone knows its there.

ii think i would be very interested to meet such a grey/gray person, if only for the novelty of it, and a chance to make scientific (qualitative) observations concerning a species i don't belong to. i would gaze at it in puzzlement and wonder why something as simple as a circle could appear like ovals or undulating eclipses to them. how do you equate an this eclipse in a love triangle? would an oval merit one the excuse to wrong another? with this experiment and test subject i would have questions like these answered. it oes without saying that scruples and plain kindness would not be taken into consideration during said experiment.

is there a formula from moving from one person to another so gracefully no one sees the other once significant half trip on the ice from your cold last words o grey/gray being?

i've tried everything i can think of to cure myself of this fit of confused uncetainty, except for deciding all my indecisions. slay demons or save damsels?

i apologize for the blandness of this note. i am after all, coughing up a chainsaw, and running to hurl my brains out every 45minutes. i am also, if that wasn't obvious already..extremely bored and bedridden.